Feel guilty about not meditating?

A cognitive reframe that might help

As you might imagine, given what I do for a living, I get approached by a lot of people who sheepishly admit they’re not meditating, despite all the evidence that suggests the practice is good for you.

I hear all sorts of reasons: I don’t have time; I’m “bad” at it; Running/knitting/petting my iguana is my meditation, etc.

Historically, I’ve reassured people with some cocktail of the following:

• If you’re busy, doing it for one minute daily-ish absolutely counts.

• You don’t suck at meditation; distraction is part of the process.

• And, if you’re getting peace of mind from some other activity, do whatever works for you.

I stand by all of that.

But I recently heard what may be an even better response:

You’re already meditating.

We all have this natural ability to feel calm and expansive, at least for a few nanoseconds. Watching a sunset. Holding a baby. Communing with your cat.

No matter how little meditation you’ve done, you’ve almost certainly had moments where your anxiety and self-referential chatter naturally subsided somewhat.

So just tune into those moments. When you’re sliding into the bath, walking in nature, laughing with friends. See if you can notice that you're present, awake, and aware—and just extend it slightly.

I got this advice from the Zen teacher (and professional mediator) Diane Musho Hamilton. Check out my podcast today, where we talk about starting (or restarting or revivifying) your meditation practice, handling difficult feedback, and what she calls, “spiritual cross-training.”

Paid subscribers can listen ad-free here. It’s also available wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.

In addition to getting the 10% Happier podcast ad-free, paid subs get a cheatsheet for each episode (with key takeaways, time-coded highlights, and a transcript), can comment on my posts, access my subscriber chats, and join my twice-monthly live video sessions, in which I guide a meditation and take questions.

Our next live session is Weds, April 23rd at 5:00PM ET. Join the party.

Diane is one of many great teachers featured on Waking Up, a top-notch meditation app with amazing teachers and a ton of courses for all levels. If you subscribe via this link: wakingup.com/tenpercent, you’ll get a 30-day free trial—and you’ll be supporting the 10% Happier team, too. Full and partial scholarships are available.

Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Diane Musho Hamilton, a Zen teacher and professional mediator, discusses the concept of "spiritual cross-training" - combining meditation practice with interpersonal skills and emotional maturity. She emphasizes that it's not enough to just meditate; we need to develop ways to apply our practice in daily life and relationships.