Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier
How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco
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How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make and Keep Friends | Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Did you know that having friends can make you less depressed? One survey found that the average American had not made a new friend in the last five years but 45% of people said they would go out of their way to make a new friend if they only knew how.   

Our guest today, Dr. Marisa G. Franco, has written a bestselling book about how understanding your own psychological makeup and attachment style can help you make and keep friends. Franco is a psychologist and a professor at the University of Maryland. Her book is called Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make–and Keep–Friends.

This is episode three of a four part series in which we are doing some counter programming against the typical Valentine's Day fair. 

In this episode we talk about:

  • Why friendship is undervalued in our society (while romantic love is overvalued) and why this is damaging on both a societal and individual level

  • The impact of technology on our relationships as explained by something called “displacement theory”

  • The biological necessity of social connection and the devastating physiological and psychological impacts of loneliness 

  • Attachment style and its relationship to our friendships

  • What you can do to make friends, including being open or vulnerable (without oversharing)

  • How to reframe social rejection

  • The importance of generosity

  • How to handle conflict with your friends

  • The difference between flaccid safety and dynamic safety in your friendships

  • When to walk away from a relationship 

  • How to make friends across racial, gender, and socioeconomic lines

  • How to deal with social anxiety

  • And how our evolutionarily wired negativity bias can impact the process of making friends

Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/marisa-g-franco-561

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Dan Harris
Ten Percent Happier
Dan Harris is a fidgety, skeptical journalist who had a panic attack on live national television, which led him to try something he otherwise never would have considered: meditation. He went on to write the bestselling book 10% Happier. On this show, Dan talks with eminent meditation teachers, top scientists, and even the odd celebrity.