How to be OK

Hint: you’re probably looking in the wrong places

The desire for okayness is a human universal. Most of us walk around with a running interior monologue of: Am I safe? How do I look right now? Does that person like me? Etcetera, etcetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam…

We think we’ll find relief by simply replacing unpleasant experiences with pleasant ones. That next party, that next promotion, that next latte—that will finally do it for us.

But given the relentless nature of change, that strategy just leads to an endless, mad scramble. It’s fingers in the dike—a game of whack-a-mole.

The real route to okayness is much less obvious: it’s to be mindful of whatever you’re feeling, even if it sucks. Stop, get curious, let the feeling be there without aversion or clinging.

It’s ok to not be ok—and, paradoxically, that is the route to okayness.

The hard part, of course, is remembering to do this. It’s so easy to get pulled back into our deeply ingrained habits.

One great way to remember is to get into the habit of regularly listening to the dharma. Which is a fancy way of saying: you should listen to my podcast today with Nolitha Tsengiwe, who is both a meditation teacher and an executive coach. We talk about: the paradox of okayness, how to knit mindful pauses into your workday, and strategies for handling on-the-job conflict.

Click to listen or watch. Below, paid subscribers get a cheatsheet, which includes key takeaways and a full transcript of the episode. Paid subscribers can also join the chat, comment on posts, participate in monthly live AMAs, and more.

Finally—a programming note. Today at 3:00 PM ET is the final day of my free inauguration sanity series. I’m closing with a live conversation with bestselling author and “America’s government teacher,” Sharon McMahon. I’ll guide a short meditation and then we’ll chop it up. You’ll get an email when we go live, but you do need the Substack app to participate.

Click here to watch yesterday’s conversation with CNN’s Van Jones.

Hope to see you later today. The world is insane, but you don’t have to be.

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Episode cheatsheet

The big takeaway

Nolitha Tsengiwe, an executive coach and dharma teacher, talks about how integrating mindfulness practices into your workday can reduce anxiety, improve productivity, and help navigate workplace conflicts. By pausing regularly to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can respond more wisely to challenges rather than reacting blindly.