How to spot a “conflict entrepreneur”

And how to not be one yourself

A “conflict entrepreneur” is someone who inflames turmoil to benefit themselves. We’re living in a golden age of conflict entrepreneurs who get rewarded by social media algorithms with followers and profit.

But conflict entrepreneurs can come in many shapes and sizes: profiteering divorce lawyers; meddling mothers-in-law; shit-stirring besties. 

How to spot them? Amanda Ripley, author of High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped And How To Get Out, says one telltale sign of a conflict entrepreneur is that they delight in other people’s suffering, likely because it gives them relief from their own internal pain. As the old cliche goes: hurt people hurt people. 

She argues that if you want to keep your conflicts healthy, you need to identify and marginalize these fire-starters. She also says it’s important to self-reflect: do you ever play an entrepreneurial role in someone else’s conflict?

Amanda was on the pod today, talking about how to engage in healthy conflict (a real possibility about which many of us are unaware) and avoid the briar patch of high conflict.

Listen to or watch today’s podcast.

And—Amanda will be in and out of our chat today. Tell her your stories; ask her anything. I’ll be there, too.

Finally—below, paid subscribers an episode cheatsheet, which includes key takeaways, time-stamped highlights, and a full transcript of today’s podcast.