On this morning after, here's what's helping me (and might help you, too).

No silver bullets here.

My community is open to all, but I’m going to take the liberty of directing today’s message to the people who are unhappy with last night's election result, because that’s where the most acute suffering is.

Many of you are waking up with feelings of fear, rage, and despair. I’m not here to talk you out of your feelings. Nor am I here peddling silver bullets. But let me briefly share four strategies that might boost your okay-ness quotient. To put it another way, these are moves that personally help me—and perhaps might help you, too.

Fair warning, nothing here is new or original. But given our tendency toward denial, distraction, and despair, we need to be reminded over and over.

1. Consider history.

Our country has been through many horrible convulsions and survived nonetheless. Personally, I would rather be in this moment, with all of its profound and perilous flaws, than on the lip of World War II or in the throes of the Civil War. As mentioned a few weeks ago, I find it soothing to consider that in Lincoln‘s second inaugural, delivered in the midst of combat and after having endured assassination attempts and the recent loss of a child, he called for malice toward none. Malice toward none. It’s a high bar, but one worth contemplating. (To be super clear, however, this kind of compassion is not the same as passivity. Lincoln kept prosecuting the war until the union was restored. But we can take affirmative action without malice. That’s what I’m proposing we contemplate.)

2. Action absorbs anxiety.

For some of you, one of the worst aspects of this situation might be the feeling of powerlessness. As you’ve heard me discuss before, a powerful antidote is to take action. You can get involved politically; you can do activist work; or you can take steps that have nothing to do with politics, such as volunteering for an animal shelter. Or, if you’re busy, just try to become more useful in your own little environment: doing more favors for friends; checking in on people you know are suffering. I find this pulls me out of my own worries and into an empowering approach-state.

3. Mindfulness.

I almost hesitate to say this, because it’s so predictable, coming from me. But the technology works, so here goes…

If, as you move through the day, you find yourself ambushed by powerful emotions such as fear or sadness, try—if you can remember—to make a counterintuitive move. Instead of reflexively pushing those feelings away or allowing yourself to be swamped by them, simply get curious. How does anxiety manifest in the body? What kind of thoughts are associated? See if you can investigate.

When you do this, you are no longer being carried away by the rushing river of thoughts and emotions. Instead, you are behind the waterfall, watching it all with some nonjudgmental remove. 

Obviously, this won’t change the outcome of the election. But it might help you respond wisely to it instead of reacting reflectively. Further, it might help you see that beneath the rage or despair, there’s something else: caring. Giving a shit. And if you can access that stuff, the motivation to help, it might be a much cleaner burning fuel for you as we enter this next phase of American history.

On a programming note, my podcast team and I spent a lot of time discussing what kind of episode to drop down the feed today, and we ultimately decided to have a conversation with dharma teacher Alexis Santos about how to be consistently mindful throughout your day. Click to listen or watch. 

4. Never worry alone.

As you may have heard me say before, I think it’s best to make your anxiety a team sport. In that spirit, I’ll be doing a live guided meditation at 11 AM ET today on the Substack app. Let’s do our worrying in the carpool lane. In this way, we might be able to move through it a little bit more quickly and smoothly. Hope to see you there.

I love all of you. I hope this doesn’t sound too Pollyanna-esque, but I really do think we can get through this together. See you soon. Xx

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