The Buddha on leadership

Plus: Join me at 3:00 PM ET for a live meditation + conversation with CNN's Van Jones

Many leadership books draw inspiration from historical figures such as Julius Caesar, Abraham Lincoln, and Winston Churchill. You know, the classic “man of action” trope.

But personally, I have learned more about leadership from the Buddha. Yeah, the guy sitting cross-legged in the backyards of your New Agey friends. (No shade: I’ve got Buddhas all over my house.)

The Buddha’s incisive notions about leadership are especially relevant during these early days of Trump’s second term, but also as a way to evaluate our own performance—at work, at home, or anywhere else.

Back in the Buddha’s day, about 2,600 years ago, he counseled kings and wealthy merchants about how to lead, based on his understanding of the human mind gleaned from decades (lifetimes?) of meditation.

The Buddha did a lot more than meditate, though. He built a large order of nuns and monks and also promulgated a voluminous set of teachings (aka “the dharma”) that form the basis for what is now the world’s fourth largest faith. (Although many Western secular people like me practice the dharma less as a religion and more as a kind of mental training.)

Many of the Buddha’s teachings were delivered in the form of lists. (The Four Noble Truths. The Seven Factors of Enlightenment. The Eightfold Path. Etcetera.)

Here is the relevant list for today’s post:

The Ten Virtues of a Leader:

1. Generosity: Sharing resources and wealth with the populace.

2. Morality: Upholding ethical conduct and integrity.

3. Self-Sacrifice: Prioritizing the welfare of others over personal gains.

4. Honesty: Being truthful and transparent in dealings.

5. Gentleness: Exercising kindness and compassion.

6. Self-Control: Demonstrating restraint and discipline.

7. Non-Anger: Managing emotions to avoid anger.

8. Non-Violence: Committing to peaceful actions and policies.

9. Patience: Showing tolerance and understanding.

10. Non-Opposition: Avoiding divisiveness and fostering unity.

I find this list so fascinating and counterintuitive. You might expect leadership advice to dwell mostly on qualities such as decisiveness, fearlessness, and vision. But here’s the Buddha, stressing honesty, gentleness, and self-control.

Run your leaders—your president, your members of Congress, your boss—through this list. How do they stack up?

(Side note: The Buddha stressed critical thinking—the idea that you really should do your own analysis, rather than only listening to the influencers who populate your feed. “Do not go upon what has been acquired by repeated hearing; nor upon tradition; nor upon rumor,” he said.)

More importantly, as you scan the above list, how do you stack up?

When I glance at this list—as a boss and a parent—I find it humbling.

Here are three areas for personal growth on my part:

1. Generosity. I recently got some tough feedback from two people who work for me. They pointed out that I was being insufficiently appreciative of their work. This was painful to hear. Once I recovered from the initial sting, however, I was genuinely grateful for the fact that they’d had the courage to speak up to their employer. Ever since, I’ve been trying to get better at recognizing the hard work of my teammates. Not in a forced way; it’s all sincere. For me, it’s about resisting the emotional stinginess that comes so naturally to me as a frosty New Englander.

Pro-tip: One helpful little rule of thumb comes from my longtime meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein, who advises that if you feel an urge to be generous (with a physical gift or a kind remark), just do it—override the second thoughts.

2. Honesty. I’m not a liar. At least, I don’t believe that I’m guilty of lies of commission. But lies of omission? Sadly, yes. Specifically, I too often shy away from the hard work of giving candid feedback. This, too, is a kind of stinginess that I am trying to overcome. As the writer and researcher Brené Brown says, “Clear is kind.”

Pro-tip: One tool that has been helpful for me in this regard comes from my longtime communications coaches, Mudita Nisker and Dan Clurman. The concept is called, “framing.” When I deliver critical feedback, I try to frame my message within my desire to help improve my interlocutor’s performance—and enhance our relationship. E.g.: “I’m telling you this because I care about you, and I think this feedback will help you.”

3. Non-anger. It’s not that I fly into a rage all that frequently (although I certainly used to); it’s more that I can be, when stressed or anxious, curt or irritable. In other words, for me, it’s less about anger management than it is about anxiety management. From my longtime executive coach, Jerry Colonna, I have learned that it is my job as a leader to understand my own wiring so that I don’t pass my pathology along willy-nilly to the rest of the team.

Pro-tip: What helps me in this regard is self-compassion: learning to view my anger and its underlying anxiety as ancient neurotic programs that are actually just the organism trying to protect itself. Instead of slaying my dragons, I now try to make it a habit to give them a high-five—to welcome them to the party. It’s radical disarmament.

I mess these things up all the time. Perfection is not on offer for me—or, likely, for you. It’s about messy, marginal improvement over time. Which is doable for anyone.

I’ll close with one of my favorite quotes—a rough paraphrase of something a Zen master once said to his students: “You’re perfect—and you could use a little improvement.”

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Finally, a programming note: I hope you’ll join me this afternoon at 3:00 PM ET when I go live with political analyst and CNN commentator Van Jones. I’ll start with a short, guided meditation and then we’ll chop it up. Tomorrow, I’ll be doing the same with bestselling author and “America’s government teacher,” Sharon McMahon.

Click here to watch yesterday’s session.

Join us later today. The world is insane—but you don’t have to be.