This is real strength

Rethinking “weakness”

Given my conditioning as a male, I have long had deeply mixed feelings about displaying weakness. For example, I have, at times, been the kind of asshole who refuses to stop and ask for directions. 

But what if “weakness” is power? 

I started thinking about this recently when I heard a story from the meditation teacher Kaira Jewel Lingo. She and her partner were gifted a large property that they were hoping to turn into a retreat center. However, the gift came with a drawback: a ton of debt. Kaira and her partner found themselves in the position of having to go around, hats in hand, asking for money.

Initially, she hated this situation. But quickly she started to embrace it, because it put her in touch with a truth that many of us scramble to avoid confronting: that no one is an island; we all need others to survive. And that interrelationality is our greatest strength. 

I learned this myself during my recent breakup with my meditation app. Initially, I winced at having to ask friends for advice, and asking all of you to support me in my new endeavor. But in my saner moments, I see it as putting useful dents in my illusion of self-sufficiency. 

Real power isn’t artificial invincibility. Real power is clearly seeing how contingent your life is on the lives around you, having the courage to seek help, and cultivating a network of people who are willing to provide that support. 

Kaira Jewel Lingo is on the pod today, for the final episode in our series where executive producer DJ Cashmere interviews dharma teachers about pressing problems. This one is on surrender, or “letting go.”

Listen to the full episode here.

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